When I walked out of the airport,the sun looked brighter and chirpier than the place I had visited for couple of weeks. The melancholy and the heavy weight of silence that we worked around with at the refugee camps was now replaced by bright lights and window shopping. Outside the airport, families were greeting their loved ones as they assembled ……no one was doing a head count of their family members…what if someone had gone missing…..but then I told myself…..that happens in the ‘other world’…where every day a mother has to rejoice to see that all her children are still around her…..where all of them made it safe across the border to the refugee camp.
I meet my dad at home….I am grateful to him that he doesn’t ask me about my experiences but makes dinner for me and sits by my side. Later, I soak myself in the bath and hope to start afresh…hope to wash away the stench of disenchantment, disappointment,loss and non-existence from my body which I had collected from the trip. As I walk out of the bathroom,I refuse to switch on the lights…..it felt like an artificial source for seeing things in a projected way.
I sit by the window and pull the heavy curtains to restrict the street lights which were trying to sneak in my room. As the darkness prevailed,my breathing grew calmer and softer,I don’t know why I used to think that darkness is for a evil and sick mind…why did I buy the ready-made perceptions of others. I enjoy darkness and its certainty…that it will be around for days to come and that it never challenges the flashes of light that comes along, in fact darkness is the platform for light………………….I rest my back to the wall and listen to the silence and feel the same certainty that I felt back in the place I was visiting…. that no matter where you go the comfort of deeply enchanting darkness will always prevail…….